Tired.

I am tired.

I've been whining. But I felt that I was battered. Wind can just whisk me off if not for gravity.

The four papers were tough (except for the 2). Yes but somehow, I felt that I can never recover from that energy I had spent on those papers. I am feeling tired everyday, worn out every day. Even if I were wasting my life away rotting on dramas, I couldn't feel energized.

Now I am trying to code a wee bit on my FYP. Lol, 1 whole day, only written a few lines of code. Even when making my powerpoint slides, I couldn't even feel the energy to do so. Maybe, I have energy for whining - which is why I am here. Lol.

Hopefully after this whine, tomorrow I shall find some new energy and work on it. Oh well, I only have tomorrow for my last coding day.

So I had been thinking, way earlier before, I was motivated to do well. This semester was tough, and cost me all my motivation. I couldn't get past certain things and I had broken down numerous times this semester.  One day I chanced across some wise words:

"Motivation goal theory suggests that one will move smoother if a goal is set. Studying doesn't bring stress if there's a goal bigger than academic results."

I understood what this was saying, I am trying to let go. Maybe I am being stupid and stubborn. Sigh. Theres a bigger goal out there, for me all my life was how to earn bucks and live comfortably when I am old. Seemingly, you have to work till you die in SG. No way out?

Yet another wise words from today: "Those who are happy, not because they have the best things; but because they know how to cherish what they have."

I should really learn this.

Rotten to core from expectation of grades, now I am stuck in endless loop of wanting to best myself in something so mundane. Stop being stupid!! *Smacks myself*

Wished I was poor. In a farm. My only hope was for the rain to come when it should, and sun-shine when it should. Think simple, live simple. Less worry less stress. Maybe I would have a tougher life out there. But hey after work at field I could just rest in a hammock held by 2 big trees. I wouldn't need to know fashion, how to make big bucks, how to get good grades, how to always google and waste my eyesight away. Hehe fanciful picture? Ok, I shall get to daydreaming (or night dreaming). Lol don't be down anymore!